Find the joy in your werk out

I have never, ever been someone who enjoys the gym. Picking up heavy things and putting them back down again just doesn’t get me going.

Still, I tried more than a few times to make myself a “gym person.” After all, what kind of gay guy doesn’t at least try to get a six pack? But even as I cycled through gym memberships, I always felt out of place in front of the weight rack, and I’d eventually lose interest.

At a certain point, I gave up on trying to force it. I was starting to read more about health and bodies1, and came around to the idea that my body was not a problem to be solved, or a piece of clay to be molded (who would have thunk!). So, in the place of uninspiring trips to the gym, I doubled down on activities that I did just for the fun of them: hiking and biking. At the most extreme, I’d sometimes pull 20-mile days on foot; I also biked across the state of New York, twice.

Again, I did these things because I enjoyed them (okay, at least in a Type-2 Fun kind of way), not because I was chasing some arbitrary fitness goal. I wasn’t trying to change my weight or achieve a certain look; I was just doing things that made me happy, and moving my body along the way.

This was, in a word, revolutionary for me. I left behind society’s nonsense rules about fitness, and plugged into a deep sense of joy that, ironically enough, keeps me very fit.

Here’s how you can do the same.

I’m not here to lecture you about fitness, or even health for that matter. I do not care what your body looks like, or what’s in your medical record. I don’t even care if you work out!

I do care, however, that you have fun in that groovy flesh suit of yours.

So, if you want to move your body more, there’s a pretty simply recipe: Find a way of moving your body that lights you up, that gives you the giggles, that you can’t wait to do again.

Maybe you, like me, enjoy hauling yourself up mountains. Maybe you, like me, love to traverse this big planet of ours on two wheels. Maybe you, like me, are want to throw on a Speedo and do laps at the community pool.

Or maybe you’re not like me! Perhaps yoga or dancing or rugby or climbing or bowling puts a smile on your face. Amazing! I love that for you.

If you’re not sure what physical activities bring you joy (hello, gym class trauma!), give a few a try. For bonus points, do so with a queer sports or activity group.

Oops! There basically is no Step 2.

Once you’ve found one way (or a few ways) to move your body that brings you joy, go do it! As often as possible.

That’s it, that’s the advice.

Notice how I didn’t tell you to make a fitness regimen or track your macros or some such bullshit? Yeah, exactly. Miss me with that!

The idea that freed me to actually be more active, and have a great time doing it, was that I didn’t need physical activities to be anything other than fun.

For all my talk about hating gyms I, umm, well, recently joined a very fancy and expensive gym here in Milan. 😅 I can explain!

I did not join for the weight machines or really even the gym itself. I joined mostly because it has a beautiful pool (joy ✅), and a beautiful spa area (joy ✅), and a locker room overflowing with beautiful boys (joy ✅). It’s all making sense now, isn’t it?

Jokes aside, maybe there’s a lesson here, too: Don’t be too rigid with yourself. Sure, I swore off gyms years ago, but now I stumbled upon one that lets me chase my joy, without forcing me to do stuff I don’t like. So, I joined it. Simple as that.

This week, a snap from a stunning and stormy vista on a recent hike near Lake Como.