A gay guide to going to your first nude beach

I was lucky enough to grow up a few towns over from the only nude beach in the entire state of New Jersey.

This liberated stretch of sand, on the very tip of New Jersey’s amble bosom, overlooked the New York City skyline. It was permitted—nay, sanctioned—only because it lied within the bounds of a national park, exempt from the state’s usual anti-nudity laws.

The beach loomed large in my imagination. A couple of times, I had visited the “normal” beaches in the same national park, and I wondered what it would be like to walk down the shore until the clothing-optional section.

And yet, the desire seemed (to my young mind) almost preposterous. Me? Go to a nude beach?! Yeah, right.

I finally mustered up the courage somewhere around age 18 or 19, driving out one day by myself and laying out my towel in the great expanse of naked bodies. I vibrated with nerves the entire time, alternately trying to hide my perennial erection, and swiveling my head to ogle at the beautiful sights (I realize that was quite counter-productive).

Now, more than a decade later, going to nude beaches is old hat for me. I don’t think twice about shedding my shorts and sashaying into the ocean.

I’m willing to bet that some of you still have the forbidden desire to try out a nude beach. I’m here to help. This is my gay beginner’s guide to finding, visiting and (most importantly) enjoying your first nude beach.

Before we can tackle any of the emotional issues at hand, we gotta solve the logistical ones.

Nude beaches are scattered all around the globe, including the U.S. Directories like Nude Beach Map and BeachAtlas are a good place to start if you’re searching for a beach in a specific location. Natural Pursuits also has an excellent guide to queer nude beaches the world over.

Not all nude beaches, however, are created equal. You’ll want to think about a few different things before choosing where to go:

Where do you find all this information about a beach? Start with those directories I linked above. I also like to peruse Google reviews for any given beach, where people usually leave helpful notes about the quirks of each spot.

I’m not gonna lie: It’s not easy in the beginning! My first time at a nude beach was downright terrifying (and, simultaneously, thrilling). But here are some tips for making it a little easier.

One of the first things I realized during my maiden voyage to a naked beach was that my body was completely, utterly normal. All of the parts of my body that made me insecure (too thin, not enough muscles, etc.) were mirrored in countless people around me. Sure, there were some hunks, too. But by and large, the bodies I saw were sagging or scarred or scrawny or simply normal.

So, take comfort in the fact that almost everyone else that’s going naked at the beach is just like you: A person with a body who must navigate the daily horrors of being a person in a body.

For us queer folk, this can be especially liberating. I know I carried a lot of shame about my body (and its desires) for most of my life. Going nude at a beach, being totally free in a natural space surrounded by my peers, has gone a long way in reducing that shame.

One of the pure joys of being naked on a beach is the physical sensation of sun on your skin, or sea water coursing through your thighs.

It might help lower the volume on your anxiety if you consciously tune into your senses. Take a moment to notice the wind brushing across your liberated zone, or the sun warming certain body parts for the very first time. If you take a swim, relish the way the water brushes past you, unimpeded by textiles.

For me, grounding into my body like this makes nude beaches a lot less stressful, and a lot more enjoyable.

You don’t need to dive into the deep end, so to speak, immediately.

Maybe you keep your top or speedo on for a bit after you first arrive, settling into the scene before you go fully nude. Or maybe you set up your umbrella away from the crowds to give yourself a bit more privacy.

There’s no need to put yourself on parade (unless you want to). Take the experience at the speed that feels right for you.

A few things, it turns out! Just because you’ll be naked doesn’t mean you should show up empty-handed.

Ah, the million-dollar question.

Most (all?) of the time, sexual activities are not technically permitted at nude beaches. Some spaces, especially those that are firmly in the naturist tradition, strictly forbid it.

Now, does that mean it never happens? No.

Us gays especially are known to push the boundaries, and I’ve been witness to more than a little queer cruising at nude beaches in my day.

So, can you be naughty at a nude beach? It honestly depends on your comfort level and risk tolerance. At a place like the Boy Beach in Provincetown, cruising for sex in the dunes is practically de rigueur. But if you go somewhere with a more wholesome vibe, wandering into the bushes might be a bit more dicey.

There ya have it, my best wisdom from more than decade of naked beach-going.

Will this be the summer you finally realize your desire to chill out on a clothing-optional coastline? Only you can decide. I hope that, after reading this, you feel even a little bit more confident to give it a go.

Trust me: You won’t regret it.

This weekend I jumped back onto the ski slopes for (maybe) the last time this season.