Trail Head

When I arrived in Cinque Terre a few weeks ago with a gaggle of 20 other Italian gay men, I was hoping to get lucky.

I knew ahead of time that we’d be split among a few rental apartments, one of which would house nearly half of us. I was hoping to be lucky enough to be in that apartment, which would then, ahem, lead to me getting lucky. (See what I did there? 🤭)

Our group leader calls out names and, wouldn’t you know, I end up in the big apartment. How lucky! Or, depending on your perspective, unlucky … because all nine of us would be sharing one bathroom for the weekend.

This is, indeed, just a two-bedroom apartment with a large living room that can sleep four more people on pullout couches. I claim a spot on one of these pullouts, and then we’re quickly out the door for our first day of hiking.

I’m here, after all, with a queer hiking group that has a weekend itinerary full of rambles along the Ligurian coast. Periodically, as we traverse the hills above Cinque Terre, we joke about how we might need to shower in pairs after our hike to make it to dinner on time.

I certainly am not mad about this, and I’m eyeing a few prospective shower partners. By the afternoon, I’m particularly hopeful about Daniele1, one half of an open couple that is sharing the living room with me. He’s been flirty all day; there have been several winks.

Around sunset, our hike loops us back to Monterosso, the last (or first) of the Cinque Terre, where we wait for our train back to our apartments. On the platform, a few of us open Grindr. We almost immediately find each other on the grid. I’m particularly delighted that I find Daniele, as well as Tonio2, the handsome daddy I’ll be sharing a bed with later.

Daniele messages me. I mention that maybe we should take a shower all three of us together (him and his partner) to save water. He doesn’t protest. We’re sending messages back and forth standing maybe five feet apart, giggling as the notifications land and we try to keep our cool in front of the group.

😈 This is your spice warning! 🌶️ If you don’t want the rest of my uncensored report from my time in Cinque Terre, now is a good time to stop reading.

I’m feeling quite optimistic that I’ll be having a shower threesome very soon. When we get home, the shower parade starts and us living room residents end up in the back half of the queue. We all have a little fun as we wait, ogling boys as they parade into the living room, in towels, to use the blow-dryer.

Eventually the bathroom opens up and Daniele tells me I should take it. Alone. I’m too shy to remind him that we could shower together. So I shower alone. Then he showers, also alone, before his partner Rocco3 does the same.

There’s some fun peaking, in towels and undies, and even some brief nudity as we all get changed. I glimpse the dicks of both Daniele and Tonio. But I’m a bit disappointed that, after all the talk, nothing happened.

We get a gigantic table at a restaurant around 9 p.m. I order a delicious pizza with pistachio and mortadella, and I’m quite satisfied at first. But the dinner soon starts to feel interminable, especially as my energy wanes. The pizzas come fast, but then we linger for what feels like forever for dessert. A contingent of our group orders a special item that takes a half hour to prepare. In true Italian fashion, no one is in a rush.

It’s around 11:30 p.m. when we pay and emerge back into the chilly night air. I’m eager to go back and sleep, especially considering we have an early wakeup tomorrow. But everyone else wants to take a passeggiata, the classic post-dinner Italian stroll.

Sure, I get it, digestion or whatever. But is the 10 minute walk back to the apartment not enough?! Apparently not. I’m awestruck that they’re not all exhausted like me.

So we stroll the main drag, Christmas lights twinkling above, and I can only laugh at the absurdity. It’s cold and approaching midnight and we have to be up tomorrow at 7:30 a.m, and these Italians are utterly serious about the need for a passeggiata after a meal. They implore me that if I had gone right to sleep after dinner, I would not have slept well anyway.

We finally get back to the apartment past midnight. As we start winding down, I get into bed and read. Our little living room crew is quite chatty. Tonio and I are playing footsy a bit under the covers while we talk with the Daniele and Rocco. I’m itching for them to turn out the lights so Tonio and I can have some fun.

Eventually they flip the switch and crawl into their bed, but only after making several rounds of dramatic “good night” kisses to me and Tonio, which are quite passionate and juicy.